In the wake of a death in the school community, students and staff alike may find themselves grappling with a range of emotions and challenges. The Crisis Toolkit is designed to provide comprehensive guidelines and strategies to effectively support grieving students. This blog will delve into various aspects of a grieving student's policy, including providing counseling services, academic accommodations, and establishing a bereavement support team, as well as the Developmental Stages of Grieving children and how to support a grieving child in the classroom and Best Practices for Supporting Siblings. By understanding and implementing these policies, schools can create a supportive environment that helps students navigate their grief while continuing to succeed academically.
Support for Grieving Students Policy
The school will provide counseling services to all students who are grieving and students who may not have known the deceased but who are struggling with their emotions in the wake of the death. This can include individual or group counseling and crisis intervention.
The school will work with teachers and staff to provide additional support to students in the
classroom, such as academic accommodations and flexibility in attendance policies.
The school will develop a list of community resources that students and families can access for additional support.
Examples of School Policies:
Counseling services will be available to students who are grieving, including individual counseling, group counseling, and crisis intervention. These services will be provided by the school's counselors and other qualified staff members. Teachers and staff will work with students who are grieving to provide academic accommodations and flexibility in attendance policies, as needed. The school will provide families with a list of community resources that they can access for additional support, such as local grief support groups and mental health providers.
The bereavement support team will comprise the school's counselors, administrators, and other staff members with expertise in grief counseling. This team will guide and support students, staff, and families in the aftermath of a death. The team will work with teachers and staff to identify students needing additional support and develop individualized plans to support these students. The bereavement support team will meet regularly to review policies and procedures and provide ongoing training and support to staff.
The school will provide training to teachers and staff on how to identify and support grieving students.
The school will create a support team, comprised of school counselors, administrators, and other staff members with expertise in grief counseling, to provide guidance and support to students and staff in the aftermath of a death.
The best way to support grieving students
Understand normal grief symptoms of children and teens based on their developmental stage. (See below)
Developing a bereavement support team: Establish a bereavement support team that can provide guidance and support to students, staff, and families in the aftermath of a death. This team should include school counselors, administrators, and other staff members with expertise in grief counseling.
The bereavement support team will work with teachers and staff to identify students who may need additional support, and will develop individualized plans to support these students.
Setting up grief counseling: Partner with local hospice, mental health providers, faith-based organizations, and other community resources to support grieving students and families.
Children experience grief differently than adults, and their understanding of death evolves as they grow and develop. Here are the developmental stages of grieving in school-age children, along with tips for supporting them:
Ages 5-7: At this age, children may not fully understand the finality of death and may see it as reversible or temporary. They may also believe that they somehow caused the death. It's important to use clear and simple language when discussing death and to reassure them that they are not to blame.
Ages 8-11: Children in this age group are beginning to understand that death is permanent but may struggle with the concept of their own mortality. They may also experience a wide range of emotions, including guilt, anger, and sadness. Encourage them to express their feelings and provide opportunities for them to talk about the person who died.
Ages 12-18: Adolescents may have a more mature understanding of death, but may also experience intense feelings of loss and may struggle with their identity in the absence of the person who died. Encourage them to seek support from trusted adults or peers and provide resources for counseling or other professional support.
Here are some normal symptoms of grieving children:
Sadness: Grieving children may feel sad, lonely, and tearful. They may also experience mood swings and emotional outbursts.
Anger: Children may feel angry about the loss and may express this through tantrums, irritability, or defiance.
Behavioral Changes: Children may become withdrawn, irritable, or easily frustrated. They may have difficulty concentrating or focusing in school or have issues with memory.
Avoidance: Children may try to avoid situations or activities that remind them of the person who died. They may want to appear that they are normal and not impacted by the loss.
Ambivalence: Children may have conflicting feelings, such as relief and guilt at the same time. They may feel guilty for having fun.
Guilt: Children may feel guilty about the loss, believing that they caused it or could have prevented it. They may also feel guilty for feeling happy or having fun after the loss.
Need to tell the story over and over again: This is a common reaction among children who have experienced a loss. By retelling the story, children are able to process their emotions and come to terms with what has happened.
Fear: Children may feel scared or anxious about what will happen next, especially if the loss was sudden or unexpected. They may worry that someone else is going to die.
Physical symptoms: Children may experience physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, fatigue, changes in appetite.
Sleep disturbances: Grieving children may have trouble sleeping, or may experience nightmares or night terrors.
Changes in appetite: Children may experience changes in their eating habits, such as loss of appetite or overeating.
Regression: Younger children may revert to behaviors that they had previously outgrown, such as bedwetting, baby talk or thumb-sucking.
Social withdrawal: Grieving children may withdraw from social activities or become more isolated from their peers. They may feel isolated and feel like they are the only ones going through this experienced.
Enjoy wearing or holding something of their loved one: Children may find comfort in physical items that remind them of their loved one, such as a piece of jewelry or a stuffed animal. These items can provide a sense of closeness and comfort during a difficult time.
It's important to remember that every child grieves differently. The grief process is not linear, and different children may exhibit different symptoms or progress at different rates. Educators should also be aware of cultural differences and beliefs around grief and loss, which may affect how children express their emotions and cope with their loss. Providing support and understanding to children who are grieving can help them process their emotions and move forward in a healthy way. If a child's symptoms persist or worsen over time, it may be helpful to seek the support of a mental health professional or grief counselor. Creating a supportive and understanding environment can go a long way in helping grieving children in schools cope with their loss and move forward in their healing process.
Supporting grieving students in a classroom setting can be challenging, but there are several tools and strategies that can be helpful for both students and educators. Here are some tools to use with students in a classroom that are grieving:
Create a safe and supportive environment: It's important to create a safe and supportive environment where students feel comfortable expressing their emotions and sharing their experiences. Encourage open communication and provide opportunities for students to talk about their feelings and experiences related to the loss.
Provide space for grieving: Students may need time and space to grieve, and it's important to provide them with opportunities to process their emotions in a healthy way. This may include offering quiet spaces for reflection or providing time for students to engage in creative activities, such as drawing or writing.
Connect students with support resources: It may be helpful to connect grieving students with support resources, such as a school counselor, grief support group, local Hospice or mental health professional. These resources can provide additional support and guidance to help students navigate the grieving process.
Encourage normalcy and routine: While it's important to provide space for grieving, it's also important to encourage normalcy and routine in the classroom. Maintaining a consistent routine can provide a sense of stability and security for students, and can help them feel more comfortable and supported.
Foster a sense of community and connection: Encourage students to come together as a community and support one another through the grieving process. This may include creating opportunities for students to participate in rituals or ceremonies to honor the person who has died, or organizing group activities that promote a sense of connection and support.
Develop a plan for supporting the student: It's important to develop an individualized bereavement plan for supporting grieving students that outlines specific strategies and interventions. This may include strategies for addressing the student's emotional needs, accommodations for school work and assignments, and communication with the student's family or other support resources.
Communicate with the student's family: Communication with the student's family can help to provide a more comprehensive approach to supporting the student. Teachers can work with the family to identify specific needs or concerns related to the student's grieving process and can coordinate support resources as needed.
Identify a safe and private space for the student: It can be helpful to provide a safe and private space for the student to go to if they need to take a break or process their emotions. This can be a designated area in the classroom or a quiet space outside the classroom.
Provide opportunities for creative expression: Allowing students to express their feelings and emotions through creative expression can be a helpful tool for coping with grief. This can include drawing, writing, music, or other creative activities.
Be flexible with school work and assignments: Grieving students may struggle to complete school work and assignments on time, and may need extra support and flexibility. Teachers can work with the student to create a plan for completing school work and assignments at their own pace.
Connect the student with support resources: Teachers can connect grieving students with support resources, such as a school counselor or mental health professional. Teachers can also provide information about community resources or grief support groups that may be helpful for the student and their family.
Grief is a normal response to loss, and children can experience grief just like adults do. However, children may experience and express grief differently than adults, depending on their age and developmental stage.
Best way to support the grieving siblings at school
Here are some key points on how to support the surviving sibling and communicate with their peers:
Respect the family's wishes: Check with the children's family about their wishes and how the information about the death should be shared with classmates.
Plan how to share the news: Think carefully about how you will share the news with classmates. Consider the age and maturity level of the students and tailor your approach accordingly.
Discuss normal grief: Explain that grief is a normal and natural response to loss and that everyone experiences it differently. Explain that their friend may be acting differently and review normal grief reactions.
Provide support for the surviving sibling: The surviving sibling may need extra support during this difficult time. Offer counseling services or other resources to help them cope with their grief.
Encourage empathy and understanding: Encourage classmates to express empathy and understanding towards their grieving classmate.
Send cards: Sending cards can be a thoughtful and meaningful way for students to show their support for a grieving classmate. They could include memories of the student who died if they knew them.
By supporting the surviving sibling in different ways, teachers and peers can establish a nurturing and empathetic atmosphere for everyone affected, demonstrating their sensitivity and compassion.
Supporting grieving students is a crucial aspect of fostering a compassionate and resilient school environment. By implementing comprehensive policies and providing targeted support, we can help students navigate their grief and maintain their academic and emotional well-being. Stay tuned for the next part of this blog series, where we will explore memorials and rituals.
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